My publicist says this is the page I am supposed to tell you all about me and how great I am. The fact I even have a publicist is scary. I mean, what am I doing with a publicist? That sounds so literary and snooty – like I’m a successful writer or something. Who in heck do I think I am having a publicist, anyway – David Sedaris – Dan Brown? Man, the nerve of me. If I were you, I would turn right around and quit reading because I am way to conceited for my own good. BUT, if you insist on torturing yourself, read on.
All about me – well, I’m okay as far as human being-ness goes, and some say that I’m not too bad a writer, although I write real long sentences and often misuse punctuation, but I do that on purpose to bug people, primarily my editor.
Anyway, here’s some bio data on me in case you are stalking me, or you wish to assume my identity, which I don’t recommend, by the way.
Full name: Sharie Dawn Calhoun Derrickson
Born: Yes, in Clayton, New York
I was conceived sometime in November in the back of a Cadillac on Lover’s Lane, and that’s no lie.
My husband, Timothy, and I have been married for what he says feels like a real long time, and we have a teenage daughter, so we are holding on to each other for dear life while trembling out of fear.
I am an award-winning feature writer and humorist and a regular contributor to the Thousand Islands Sun newspaper in Alexandria Bay, New York. Besides that, I was voted, “Most Likely to Come Up Missing,” in high school.
After I graduated high school, I decided I wanted to see the world and swab floors, so I joined the U.S. Navy and became a photojournalist that served at Pacific Stars and Stripes newspaper in Tokyo, Japan, and served with U.S. Navy Combat Camera documenting military operations such as in the Persian Gulf and relief efforts in Somalia. I never swabbed a floor there – not even once, although it seriously needed swabbing.
I have a tattoo, but I didn’t get it in the Navy, however, I may have had a drink or two before getting it because I am afraid of needles (and also of bats and saran wrap.)
I went to college and actually graduated with a degree in teaching something – I forgot exactly what.
In 2001, I relocated back to the Thousand Islands after a 25-year absence and began working as a staff writer for the Thousand Islands Sun as a news and feature writer, where my humor column, “North Country Quirk,” appears weekly.
My family and I live in the happening town of Cape Vincent, which is nice with the exception of all the bats.
I have no hobbies to speak of, but I enjoy thinking about stuff no one else cares about, like if the universe is expanding, creating time and space, what is it expanding into? What happens when it runs out of room to expand into? Does it get a permit to expand into other universes – and if so, how much does that permit cost?
So, that’s pretty much me. Thanks for stumbling onto my site, and if you came here on purpose, you might want to get a hobby because this is no place to spend all of your free time.